Here are some things that crossed my mind while sitting at Brother Jimmy's long enough to have lunch, dinner, a bunch of pitchers, see the 1 p.m., 4 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. NFL games, the U.S. Open men's final and the Yankees beat the Sux...

• If you're a waiter at a Chinese restaurant, don't you want to kill whoever made it customary for patrons to drink "just water, thanks." Italian and French places make killings on wine sales. No one walks out of a BBQ joint sober. So what's up with the Chinese restaurants and their $12 tabs?

• Four years ago we were debating whether or not to make 9/11 a national holiday. I wonder if we gave it nearly enough respect on Sunday.

• If you're sporting South Carolina "COCKS" apparel or a #69 softball/football jersey, best hang out with the one person on earth who doesn't find those jokes tired.

• Traffic in NYC makes is really hard to pick your nose in the car without being caught.

• Whoever runs for New York mayor on the "no kids allowed anywhere" platform gets my vote.

• If someone ever wrote on me in permanent marker while passed out, I would exact the most simplest of revenge: beat the absolute living hell out of him the next day. Or just throw a cup of piss on him the next time I saw him. Either or.

• Don't you love it when you see a tip jar at Subway or a pizza joint or some other place where you have absolutely no intention of doling out extra money? There's always like $1.26 in some fishbowl, and you know the thing's been sitting out there for 10 hours. You look at the guy behind the counter like, "Who are trying to kid here?"

• How did the NHL get considered to be a "major sport" anyhow? It's obviously not in the same class of popularity as the NFL, MLB or NBA. And golf, tennis and NASCAR have it absolutely dusted. Anyone remember the last time hockey was the subject of a Sports Illustrated cover? I don't.

• Speaking of Sports Illustrated, when people refer to the cover jinx, they mean the ones that don't feature the Patriots or Lance Armstong, right?

• Why a hot, blonde bartender would ever mention her boyfriend is beyond me. There went half that tip.

• All chicks fall somewhere between these two extremes: those you'd only fuck drunk so long as nobody finds out, and those you'd fuck sober in public.

Paul Katcher owns and operates the Upper West Side’s coolest blog (www.pk.com) and is kind enough to share his material with realhoboken.com. Email the author at paul@paulkatcher.com or use the realhoboken.com message forum on the home page to share your opinions.