It's funny how you adapt to new situations and how even things which are out of the ordinary become part of your everyday life. After a year in Japan I had got well accustomed to my new lifestyle. The lack of responsibilities, demands, and expectations I experienced as a foreigner made me feel so liberated. The Japanese had taken me into their hearts and could not do enough for me. I felt like the vulnerable foreigner who they couldn't help but love.

However, on my arrival back to the UK I began to suffer an identity crisis. I was not a foreigner, but I certainly felt like one. What if I was to let what I was feeling slip out,

people would think I was seriously strange, I mean, who gets culture shocked in

their own country?

Here is a top ten rundown of stuff that genuinely shocked me, and I'd forgotten all about during the previous twelve months.

1. The Scotch Egg - While walking around a supermarket I found it difficult to hide my emotions when I happened to spot this reassuring sight for the first time. It was certainly comforting - I didn't want to buy it, taste it, see how much I could fit into my mouth in one go, but I felt secure in the knowledge that it was there, it was available, and the next Scotch Egg was a maximum of only 5 minutes away.

2. Obese men driving small cars - their belly squashed up against the steering wheel, their pale, round, shaven head glaring at you as they go past. Catch their eye and they will engage you in a staring competition - back in Japan people avoided any eye contact at all costs.

3. Metal baskets of discounted fizzy drinks - Fanta, Diet Coke, Lilt sitting at the front of shops, children's garden toys - scatch, hula hoops, skittles; bins full of half price chewy sweets. Such familiar, unfamiliar sights.

4. Smell of fish 'n' chips and the noise in pubs - This was all too over powering, I sat baffled, bemused, stunned; suffocated by the atmosphere.

5. 99's & pasties - eating pasties out of white paper bags, the smell was comforting the taste was revolting!

6. Abuse - Scally abuse - I had forgotten how to handle it. A scally confronted me on the underground two weeks after my return to the UK. He asked where I was going - I didn't want to tell him in fear that he might follow. My response: 'I don't know'. What kind of pathetic, stupid reply was that?! Where had my wit, my speed, and my defence gone?

7. English slang & proverbs - I found myself using far too many, I felt like a foreigner with a strong grasp of the language. I wanted to show off my proficiency by overloading a sentence with as many cliches and proverbs as I possibly could. You could have knocked me over with a feather!

8. The feeling of crossing the road not at a designated crossing - setting foot on the road I felt that it might dissolve into molten lava.

9. The Language Barrier - On return, not being able to cope, the sheer intensity of being able to understand what everybody was saying felt like someone had turned the volume up again.

10. Dirt - dirty black pigeons in the park, and loads of litter: compared to Japan it felt like the UK was about as clean as Pete Doherty.

To sum up cultural differences and similarities between countries I asked the Japanese and a handful of other foreigners what they thought about English people dipping their biscuits into tea - I gave them three choices

-Polite

-Impolite

-Or showing appreciation for the tea

Most believed it was a sign to show great appreciation and enjoyment for the tea. Interesting that.

If you would like to see an illustrated version of the article then check out my website at http://www.misspoochie.org or http://www.misspoochie.blogspot.com